So maybe you\u2019ve been inspired by my posts so far and started to embrace your sexuality publicly, and now you have a bone to pick with me.\u00a0 While you were performing some sexy moves on the dance floor and feeling oh so good, you noticed a few dirty looks shot in your direction, got some undesirable attention from a few less-than-gentlemen, and you could swear you heard that girl at the bar whisper \u201cslut\u201d behind your back.\u00a0 Welcome to the revolution!\u00a0 Unfortunately challenging the status quo comes with its own drawbacks and sexual freedom has its price, so you must start deciding just how much you\u2019re willing to pay.<\/p>\n
Of course, you\u2019re more than welcome to help wage the war for your sexual liberation in the privacy of your own home, and honestly, I think a lot of time should be spent nurturing this side of yourself in private before you put your breasts forward to lead the way.\u00a0 Performing burlesque can be very therapeutic as a process, but it\u2019s a bit like shock treatment in a multitude of ways, and you might need to start with the equivalent of Prozac until you\u2019ve strengthened yourself into the sexual warrior that we need.\u00a0 This can entail everything from dance, to sensual activities, like eating and massage, to sex itself, either alone or with someone special.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve decided you\u2019re ready to take your sexuality public, I have one word for you:\u00a0 Beware.\u00a0 Since you are presenting a publicly sexual image, many people will also think you are selling<\/i> your sex.\u00a0 In some senses this is the case, assuming you make money for your performances.\u00a0 They don\u2019t call us sex workers for nothing, and assuming you\u2019re okay with it, you can make this work as explicit as you want, no judgment here.\u00a0 However, for those of you that just want to play the tease and dance provocatively, be aware that many people will think they can take liberties with you, including harassing, propositioning, and attacking you.\u00a0 You are getting naked in public after all, so as far as they\u2019re concerned, you\u2019re asking for it.\u00a0 When you\u2019re experiencing the headiness of feeling fully beautiful and sexual and confident, it can come as a bit of a shock when the glittery burlesque bubble is burst.\u00a0 As I discussed in the last post, there\u2019s a sexual war going on out there and your performance is going to provoke some reactions, both good and bad.<\/p>\n
In the digital age we live in, this is an even more complex issue.\u00a0 These days, people can take photos and video of you and share them with the world just as quickly as they took them.\u00a0 Maybe you just wanted to get your feet wet with a cute striptease and didn\u2019t expect to become the wrong kind of YouTube sensation, with everyone commenting on your jiggly thighs or advanced age.\u00a0 Maybe you thought that your burlesque premiere would be relatively secret and seen by only an invited few, and now you discover that everyone at your job has seen your video, or worse still, your mother has and she\u2019s oh so disappointed in you \u2013 she didn\u2019t raise you that way.\u00a0 Maybe your boyfriend comes home from work pissed because all his friends are forwarding nearly naked pix of you and commenting on your tits.\u00a0 You are now forced to defend yourself and your behavior, and if you\u2019re not prepared to do that, a beautiful experience can tarnish into a demoralizing one.\u00a0 This is why time spent nurturing and embracing your personal sexual identity can be so important.\u00a0 Before you ever set sparkly foot on stage, make sure that you know who you are, what your voice is, and why you\u2019re doing what you\u2019re doing, so even when someone calls you a whore, you can shout back \u201cdamn straight!\u201d and get up there again.<\/p>\n
Sometimes you will get reactions that at first feel positive, but which quickly become troublesome, namely male attention.\u00a0 When you\u2019ve been working yourself up to feeling sexy and confident, there\u2019s no bigger affirmation of this truth than when a hot guy says he appreciated your performance with a twinkle in his eye ; )\u00a0 Assuming that he\u2019s an evolved human being who makes sure to laud you on the artistic merits of your act as well as your smoking hotness, then this is a pretty incredible reward for your bravery and bravado.\u00a0 However, given the sexual climate we all still live in, many men view burlesquers the same way they do strippers, porn stars, or even \u201cskanks\u201d:\u00a0 a good time, a good story, and soon thereafter a good-bye.\u00a0 So what you may have thought would be a story to tell your grandchildren (albeit edited) leaves you feeling used.\u00a0 Or perhaps the two of you genuinely hit it off and start dating seriously.\u00a0 Well then, don\u2019t be surprised if your public nudity becomes an issue for him at some point, or if he gets tired of men leering at you, or if he takes the coquettish persona you portray to be whorishness on your part and he becomes insufferably jealous.\u00a0 More common than just the one man scenario, is the everyman scenario.\u00a0 What you are doing is purposefully titillating, and given that men vibrate at this frequency on a 24\/7 basis, they are going to be drawn to you and they are going to think they have permission to say or do certain things to you.\u00a0 If you\u2019re not used to receiving this much male attention, especially as obscene as some of it can be, the sudden onslaught can be both confusing and overwhelming.<\/p>\n
As jolting as the reactions from men can be, the reactions you will receive from women can be even more extreme, in both directions.\u00a0 Since burlesque is such a personal and enthusiastic expression of sexuality, don\u2019t be surprised if women are very inspired by you and want to join in on the fun.\u00a0 I think you would be hard-pressed to find a woman who attended a burlesque show and didn\u2019t have a positive reaction.\u00a0 When you as a performer dance and strip from your heart in front of them, they realize there\u2019s a little bad girl in them too and they need to let her out.\u00a0 Therefore, they are looking to you for guidance, approval, and encouragement and this can seem like a huge responsibility when you are still figuring this stuff out for yourself.\u00a0 Enter her boyfriend who may have enjoyed watching you take your clothes off, but doesn\u2019t want his girlfriend doing something like that and is none too happy with you encouraging her.\u00a0 Of course, outside the context of the show, women can have a very different reaction to you and your brazen displays of sexual confidence.\u00a0 Suddenly you\u2019re a temptress and a harlot who\u2019s trying to take their man and you represent all the sluts they\u2019re worried their boyfriend will cheat on them with.\u00a0 Also, outside the context of the show, they can feel timid about admitting that they too want to get up on stage and take their clothes off, because they don\u2019t want to be judged the way you\u2019re being judged, so they jump on the bandwagon, clique with their girlfriends, and call you slutty or fat.<\/p>\n
Most performers whose art form may be construed as sexual react by distancing themselves from the sexual aspect of what they do and start making distinctions.\u00a0 For instance, belly dancers don\u2019t want to be confused with burlesquers, burlesquers want you to know they\u2019re more than just strippers, strippers want to make sure you understand they\u2019re not prostitutes, and even prostitutes distinguish themselves, declaring some better than and \u201cclassier\u201d than others.\u00a0 Read: \u00a0the more it has to do with actual sex, the less \u201cclassy\u201d it is.\u00a0 This makes me sad.\u00a0 It\u2019s like we\u2019re baking, smelling, and advertising the most divine chocolate cake imaginable, but the idea of actually eating it is disgusting and something no one wants to be caught doing.\u00a0 I do think there are distinctions between these categories and a place for all of them, and I encourage each individual to do what suits her best, I just ask that if you are going to present a sexual image, you embrace it rather than disown it after the deed is done.\u00a0 For years it has boggled my mind as actors and actresses alike reject the moniker of sex god\/dess.\u00a0 I realize this is because they want to be taken seriously for their craft and not stereotyped, but to me this just indicates how low our society ranks sex, despite its powerful effect and reach.\u00a0 Just because something is basic, it doesn\u2019t make it base.\u00a0 As I\u2019ve stated before, burlesque is all about sex, so if you\u2019re going to participate, do it with pride and expect people to worship at your feet.\u00a0 I personally believe that the title of sex goddess is the highest that I can aspire to, and I\u2019m hoping one day (in the distant future) it will be written on my tombstone.<\/p>\n
So now that you know some of the roadblocks that lie ahead on the path to sexual freedom, are you still fired up to attain it?\u00a0 I hope so, even if your lady parts are only allowed the free roam of the bedroom.\u00a0 So how do you wage your war on sex and come out on top?\u00a0 First of all, own who you are, sexuality and all.\u00a0 Learn to accept and embrace your body, your thoughts, your beliefs, and your desires, whatever they may be, and please don\u2019t feel pressured to live up to or to downplay the sexual image you present.\u00a0 You can choose to be as sexually active as you please behind closed doors, assuming everyone agrees and you feel that it\u2019s right for you.\u00a0 After all, taking your clothes off in public and gyrating on stage can be a pretty effective advertisement, so feel free to cash in on the response.\u00a0 Of course, please know that the reverse is also true, and you are more than allowed to be a freak on the stage and a lady in the sheets if that\u2019s who you are.\u00a0 The more you accept yourself for exactly who you are and follow the instincts that feel true, the less you will give a shit about anyone else\u2019s opinion of you.\u00a0 Once you\u2019ve figured out who you are and what you stand for, stand behind it if you make it public.\u00a0 In other words, don\u2019t disown your act after you perform it or \u201cqualify\u201d your actions, i.e. \u201cwell I\u2019m this but I\u2019m not that.\u201d \u00a0Hold your tits high (even if you have to lift them up yourself) and carry yourself with confidence and pride, and make sure that people know exactly where your boundaries are.<\/p>\n
Once you\u2019ve found your voice and feel secure using the stage as your battlefield, use the conflict and reactions you experience to feed your art.\u00a0 What you\u2019re creating IS art, even if others don\u2019t see it that way, and what artist isn\u2019t emotional and sensitive?\u00a0 This is the fuel that great art thrives on, so incorporate the tensions, ideas, and emotions that come up for you into your acts, and let this define your stand and reinforce just who you are as an individual in this world.\u00a0 As I mentioned in the last post, performance art is a living, breathing form, so let your orgasmic organism morph and address these new issues in your next act, or revise the existing act and make it more pointed, so that people know just who they are dealing with and that you\u2019re not backing down.<\/p>\n
Finally, understand that the majority of this resistance is coming from fear.\u00a0 Most people (including yourself probably) have been raised to believe that what you are doing is bad and dangerous, and they are policing to make sure that the societal norm doesn\u2019t take a turn in a treacherous direction.\u00a0 Some sincerely believe that they are upholding our society\u2019s morality and you are posing a threat (I did mention that this was a war, right?), and so they feel the need to fight back.\u00a0 Some are just jealous.\u00a0 They know that it\u2019s a natural human inclination to be sexually liberated, but they feel if they are denied doing something, then why should you be allowed to do it.\u00a0 For some, being exposed to the joy that bubbles up from the kind of sexual expression that burlesque promotes makes them question everything they\u2019ve ever been taught or believed, and this new landscape can be a scary place to live.\u00a0 And for some, chastising you is a way of parenting their inner child, admonishing themselves (via you) for the desires that are brought up when they watch you.\u00a0 So above all, have compassion, for yourself and for others as you fight this battle.\u00a0 This is our mission, to change people\u2019s perceptions of sexuality, and so resistance and misunderstandings are to be expected.\u00a0 However, if you persevere and stay true to yourself, you can only win.\u00a0 So the next time someone whispers \u201cslut\u201d behind your back, smile and know that you are stirring things up and therefore making a difference.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So maybe you\u2019ve been inspired by my posts so far and started to embrace your sexuality publicly, and now you have a bone to pick with me.\u00a0 While you were performing some sexy moves on the dance floor and feeling oh so good, you noticed a few dirty looks shot in your direction, got some […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-73","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ravynlunatique.com\/wp2\/feelosophy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/73","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ravynlunatique.com\/wp2\/feelosophy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ravynlunatique.com\/wp2\/feelosophy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ravynlunatique.com\/wp2\/feelosophy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ravynlunatique.com\/wp2\/feelosophy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=73"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ravynlunatique.com\/wp2\/feelosophy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/73\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ravynlunatique.com\/wp2\/feelosophy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=73"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}